Best Friends?
by The Guy Below Me Sucks
Summary: Originally a short story. Italy is still having dreams, but Germany still thinks Italy is being delusional. CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH!
1. First Dream

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia! If I did, Hetalia wouldn't even be Hetalia anymore!**  
><strong>Please enjoy!<strong>

* * *

><p>"No…" I breathed. "Please… you can't do this to me!"<p>

"I can't, huh? Would you like to see me try?"

I covered my head with my arms and buried my face between my legs. "No…please! You just…you just can't! You don't understand, we've known each other for how long now? And now you've decided to kill your best friend?"

He snorted. "'Best friend'? Are you serious? Since when were we ever friends? You may have thought we were… but I never grew close enough to you to consider you a 'best friend'. We were merely nations working with one another. And now I'm tired of your slacking. I'm tired of your pussiness. I'm tired of your complaining. And now it's about time that I end it, ja?"

My eyes shrunk in fear. "Please, don't! Germany, you don't understand at all! I never meant to be in your way, I never meant to do anything like that! I was just trying to help all of those times!"

He held me at gunpoint. I've never seen Germany like this before. He seemed like he didn't mind my stupidity. And now it's like he cracked…like he's tired of me holding him behind…

"…You wouldn't be able to understand how bad I'll feel after I do this, Italy. I never went as far as to kill a nation on my own free will, but you've just done it. You're holding everything behind, my boss as gone so far as to abuse me for all of this nonsense. All because of you, I have to suffer through my boss's abuse. I don't think that's fair, so you should be the one to die, ja? We've known each other for a while, but I'm done." He paused. I could've sworn I saw a tear fall from his cheek. I shook my head.

"You're crying." I mumbled. "If you truly want to kill me, why are you crying? What's stopping you?"

"I know you mean well, Italy. I know that the way you act is just because it's the way you are, and I don't expect you to change it for me. I don't want you to be hard and strong like I am, because it screws you over in the end. But… you're just too… you. That's why I resorted to this. Now…" He kneeled down and held the gun under my chin. The cold tip of the nozzle aimed under there wasn't uncomfortable, really. It felt kind of nice, in fact. The coldness resting against my chin, cooling my body off little by little. It sent chills down my spine. He looked into my eyes.

"I promise, you won't feel anything. This will be over pretty soon, alright? I will make sure that you feel no pain, absolutely no pain. In a few seconds… you'll be…" He caulked the gun.

"…dead."

And he pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>I shot up in the bed, panting heavily. I held my head in my hands, sobbing quietly. Germany had gotten up and he cradled me in his arms, rocking me back and forth.<p>

"What's wrong?" was all he could say. I've never done this before. I've never had a dream as violent as that one, and it worries me.

I sobbed louder as I buried my head into his chest. "Germany…" I murmured, barely able to speak. "Germany…"

"I'm here, shh…" He mumbled into my ear. "Shh, everything's going to be all right, now tell me what's wrong."

I calmed my crying down and looked up at him. "It was a dream. A dream like no other, Germany. I don't understand it at all." I shook my head. "Me and you…it was me and you in the dream. You held me at gunpoint, claiming that I was just a pussy and that you're tired of it. You finally cracked, Germany. You were tired of me; you said we weren't friends in the first place. You knew I meant well, but you decided to kill me anyway. It didn't hurt, though. I felt no pain at all, isn't that the weirdest thing ever?"

I let out a huge breath and hugged Germany. He patted my back. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Germany asked me after a while.

"I'm not sure. It probably means nothing, but still it worries me. My dreams are never violent. And usually when they are, something bad's about to happen…"

Germany nodded. "I remember the last time…"

We never spoke for what seemed like ages. I shook my head and gave him a smile. "How about we forget it and try to sleep again. I didn't mean to wake you up like that. I'm sorry,"

Germany shook his head. "It's all right," He sighed as he lay back down, pulling me down with him. He held me in his arms while I rested my head against his chest. "Just sleep well, all right?"

"All right," I mumbled, "Good night. I love you…"

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>"All right, to start off our training today…"<p>

I tuned out of his lecture. I couldn't think straight after that rotten dream. The only thing I could think about is what might happen next. What is waiting for us in the near future? What's going to happen to us…? And possibly every other nation…? Is Germany prone to going insane? Is he prone to being so insane as to go far as killing me because I'm worthless? I do nothing but complain…?

"Italy, I want you to run around this block once, just to get you ready for the day's training, all right? I'm going to cut you some slack because of the issue this morning. When you're done, we'll try some combat practice, and we'll even try the grenade again today. Hopefully you'll be able to get it right… And Japan, I want you to do combat practice with me while Italy is running. Then you'll both switch and Italy will train with me while you run."

"Hai, I understand."

Germany loves me…he wouldn't do anything to me like that…He knows how weak I am, he knows that I depend on others, and even though he may get tired of it after a while, he still loves me and it wouldn't change. He wouldn't dispose of me because I'm so pathetic and stupid. He loves me…He loves me… He loves—

"Italy, did you even hear a word I said?" Germany walked slowly up to me, waving his hand in front of my face. "Italy…? Are you alright?"

I jumped and looked into Germany's eyes. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Uh… What were we doing, now?"

Germany sighed and shook my head. "Pay more attention. It really does help in the long run. Now, like I said before…"

I smiled. He wouldn't get rid of me. I know that. I'm just too cute and innocent to get rid of!

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>**This was originally meant to be an actual story, but I didn't know how I could continue this. I felt that if I continued it even more, the story would be just drawn out and horrific, so I ended it there. I thought that would be the best solution, anyway.**

**This is my first short story and I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out! Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

**EDIT: It's now a full story, as I'm sure you all have realized by now. I also fixed some minor errors that I had found.**


	2. Secret Meaning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia! This is a fic created by a fan for fans!**

* * *

><p>"Okay, Italy." Germany started as he held his arms up in a defensive stance. "I want you too punch me as hard as you can in the middle of my guard. Don't hold back."<p>

"O-Okay..." I stuttered and pulled my arm back, clenching my hand into a fist. My eyes shut as I pull my arm back a little further. Then, once I was ready, I let it go.

My arm flew at high speed. I put all of my strength as I could into that forceful punch. ..Or well it seemed.

As I hit Germany's arms, everything was silent. Only the sound of Japan's feet pitter-pattering on the gray cement could be heard. Germany looked at me for a moment, and then furrowed his brows.

"It's not strong enough." He sighed. He held his arm out and pulled it back. "Watch my arm. See the muscles constrict as you start clenching your fist and build up strength? Well you're not doing that enough. You may be building up strength, but the force of the strength you emit onto my defensive block isn't strong enough to bring pain." He paused, noticing the boring look on my face. "You don't have enough muscle. We'll have you do weight lifting here soon so you can build up all the fat that's just sitting in your arm..."

I still couldn't get that dream out of my head.

_"I promise, you won't feel anything. This will be over pretty soon, alright? I will make sure that you feel no pain, absolutely no pain. In a few seconds...you'll be..._

_ "...dead."_

As I pulled back my arm, I thought more and more about that dream. What in the world could it have meant? I still wonder that. Does it foreshadow a future event? Germany says everything will be fine. But what if it isn't? You can't always be so sure.

I pushed my arm towards Germany's defensive block. I'll never be as strong as Germany will be. His strength gives him great advantage to do something like he did in my dream to me. But he denies that he would do such a thing. Germany is a violent man when it comes to certain things. What if I do that certain thing that will just put him off, just a bit? Then he releases all of his rage onto me? I could just be a pawn in his little mind games, for all I know.

"Not strong enough, yet again." Germany sighed. "Listen. We'll stop for today. You aren't getting any better. Tomorrow, just me and you, will work on weight lifting. That useless flab in your arms are going to be put into good use." He paused and looked at the hard working Japan who was jogging. "Japan! We're done for today. You may head home if you wish."

"Hai!" Could be heard in the far distance. I glanced at Germany as he walked past me to grab his jacket.

"Germany...?" I muttered. Germany stopped putting his jacket on and turned his attention towards me.

"What is it? Are you OK?"

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I didn't know what to say. "Never mind..."

Germany frowned. "You know you can tell my anything."

"Oh I know," I smiled. "but I have nothing to say. So we're OK! How about we go eat pasta?"

Germany sighed. "Okay, that's fine..."

I giggled. Germany can't be a bad person. He's really a softy on the inside, so there can't be any way that he would want to hurt me.

As Germany turned around with his back facing me, I frowned.

But I may be just saying those things to make myself feel better.

* * *

><p>The sound of dishes clanking together resounded through the room. There was silence at the table as Germany and I ate our pasta. I watched Germany eat for a while. I looked at those hardened eyes that were so concentrated on his food. He swallowed the remains of what he had left on his plate and took a drink of his beer. As he took a drink, he noticed my stare. I hurriedly averted my eyes to my plate and took a fork-full of pasta into my mouth.<p>

"Italy?"

I paused and looked up at him. "Myeah?" I asked with food in my mouth. Germany grimaced.

"Never mind. You don't seem like yourself though. Is what happened this morning bothering you?"

I set down my fork. "Well..." I sighed, blushing. "I just..can't get it out of my head." I looked at him. "I swear it means something."

"You're just delusional. Everything will be fine." He chuckled. "What reason would I have to kill you?"

I shrugged. "Maybe...you just got so frustrated with me that you got so tired...of it?"

"You're an idiot," he sighed, reaching over the table to ruffle my hair. "You worry so much. Try to haven't been taking your _fiestas_ lately either. Try taking those more often. You seem in a much happier mood when you do."

I took those words to heart. Germany was right. I do worry too much. And I probably should nap more. It would probably do me good.

...If only I knew for the long run how much trouble I happened to get into.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <em>Best Friends? <em>is now a story! I decided to continue it because I now have more ideas as to how I want this story to go. I have a slight idea as to how I want it to end as well. I'm thinking this fic will be at least 9 to 10 chapters. If I decide to add more, I will be sure to let you know.**

**Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means so much to me!**


	3. Second Dream

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Hetalia!**

* * *

><p>I shook and shivered.<p>

I scream and kicked.

My hand shot into the air as I gasped for air.

But nothing was happening.

My eyes shot towards the smirking Germany in the corner of the weight room. A silent tear rolled down my cheek as my free hand shot towards him, begging for his help. A plead for oxygen. A wish to get out of this living Hell and into Pure Bliss, otherwise known as Heaven.

But he just stood and watched me gasp for air. This Bench Press weight suffocating me slowly, and he just watches as if it's a comedy show.

I try lifting it off of me, but there is so much weight piled on each end that I'm so weak to even lift it one centimeter off of me.

"If you want to live, lift it off of you. It shouldn't that difficult if you seriously want to continue living." The sadistic Germany commented, chuckling silently. "Or do you wish to die?"

I shook my head, trying not to break my neck in the process. My hand shot out for him again now. Big, fat, watery tears rolled down my cheeks as I screamed a silent "Help me,". But he didn't help me.

I could see black blobs blurring my vision. They outlined all the outer edges of my eyesight, making it somewhat difficult to see Germany. Germany isn't even Germany anymore. Who is this man that is torturing me so?

I could feel the blood stop rushing to my head several minutes ago. How I am still alive, I will never know. But as I watched "Germany" leave the room, I could feel my consciousness slowly fading away.

"Germany...! Don't-!" I barely choked out as I felt my soul slowly leaving my body. My eyeballs rolled back into my socket. Everything was completely black.

I felt like I was in a deep, black hole that had absolutely no way out. As if it were a Dark Abyss or something. Just...nothingness.

_Italy._

"Huh?" I asked as I looked around in the darkness. It sounded like Germany's voice.

_It's time to wake up._

"Germany?" I asked nothing. There was a grunt.

_You have to wake up now. Just do it._

"But..." I started, but then the voice grew louder and more hoarse.

_Just do it! Listen to me, do it now! You don't know what could happen if you stay asleep any longer!_

* * *

><p>I jumped up. My heart was beating rapidly. My head was pounding, as if a hammer was taken to my head several times. I looked around the room, noticing a small light in the corner of my eye. I turned to my left, only to see Germany looking at me with a worried expression. He put his arm around me, holding me close to him.<p>

"What in the world were you dreaming about this time?" He mumbled. He sounded very tired and groggy. Well that would make sense, I had obviously woken him up while he was sleeping. I suddenly felt bad for him.

"You killed me again, Germany."

Germany glared at me. "You're still going on about that?" He grumbled and threw his body down on the bed. "I swear, you worry about the littlest things-"

"I'm serious, Germany." I stared him into the eyes. Those hardened eyes... "How often am I this serious, ever?"

Germany covered his eyes with his arm and let out a long sigh. "Do you really think it means something?"

I gulped. "Yes. I swear my life on it."

Germany gave another long sigh and turned to his side to look at me. "Listen. If we get this checked out, there better be something wrong. Otherwise you can't eat pasta for a whole week."

I nodded. "Fine with me."

Germany looked surprised. He then hung his head, seeming in thought. "How about we do this on Friday? Today is Wednesday. If you are still having a dream like that each night, then we'll go Friday for sure."

I gave another nodded, plopping down onto my pillow. "Fine with me." I repeated. I was pretty confident that there was something wrong with me. There has to be no doubt about it.

"Good night," Germany mumbled and reached over to turn the night lamp off.

"Good night," I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to ward off that pounding headache that just won't leave me alone.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Italy," Germany sighed, pulling his jacket off. I glared at those rippling muscles of his. They were really intimidating. "Weight lifting is our agenda today. Those 'muscles' of yours need to be worked on."<p>

I looked around the room as Germany left to the dumbbells. My eyes rested on the bench press. My eyes furrowed as I remembered the unfortunate dream I had last night. I gave one more glance at Germany and walked over to the horrible weight item. I inspected it more carefully, looking at the shape, seeing if there is a resemblance. It looks like the one in my dream, but there are several other bench presses like that. Whether it was the one in my dream or not, I will never know.

"So, Italy..." Germany turned around, noticing me inspect the bench press. He furrowed his brows as I wasn't paying attention. "I don't think you should start on that, Italy..."

I jumped and turned to see Germany glaring at me. I shook my head. "Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that..."

Germany nodded. "Well, whatever. Just get over here. We'll start with the lightest weight, and once it seems like you can lift easily, we'll go a pound higher." He made a motion with his hand to follow him. I glared at him, feeling uneasy. I reluctantly put my right foot out, and then my left, very slowly. Then I started to walk at a slow pace, keeping an eye on his movements.

Maybe I'm just being too paranoid. I really don't think Germany is going to release all of his pent up rage just yet. But I may never know. This is Germany we're talking about. He is the one who took down all of those Jewish people during the Holocaust. We're talking about Germany, the one who had dominated World War II. Germany, the hardened man who has seen many things in his past that may forever be stuck in his memories.

But regardless, I sat down and lifted the one pound weight that Germany held out. I lifted it with ease.

"Good, two pound weight now." He grinned.

I lifted that with ease too.

We went on for about 10 minutes, where I stopped at 30 pounds. Germany wasn't _too _proud, but he was to some extent.

"Very good job today Italy. Progress is going well. Tomorrow we will continue from where we stopped." He glared at me. "Which means you will have to try a lot harder than what you have been doing. From now on, the going will be rough."

I nodded. I just agreed with whatever he said. Whether I want to or not. Because if I happen to get on his bad side...

Who knows what could happen to me?

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Updated! The next chapter~<strong>

**I really liked writing this chapter. lolol**

**Review please! It really helps!**


	4. Tests and Diagnosis

**Disclaimer: Don't own. I wish I did own it though. *tear***

* * *

><p>Thursday came and went. Germany and I had gone weight lifting again, and I had gone up about a couple more pounds. Yet again, Germany didn't seem impressed, but he tried his best to congratulate my improvement. However, I didn't really care about that. What I did care about, however, is the recurring violent dreams that I am having. I get more and more worried each time I have a dream. And it seems like Germany grows a bit colder in each one.<p>

But today is Friday. I feel a little bit more reassured that today is finally the day I can go and get this horrible condition checked out. Germany still believes that I'm just getting too overworked for nothing. It really bothers me that he doesn't believe me, no matter how many times I have persisted that there is really something wrong with me.

So we both packed into Germany's little, black Volkswagen. It really doesn't seem like the car for him, but he likes it. It runs well, he and takes very good care of it. It's his 'baby'.

"I still think this is for nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, I'm sure of it." Germany sighed. His fingers were tapping out a tune on his steering wheel.

"You're sure of it?" I asked, still staring at his dancing fingers. He has to be nervous.

"Completely sure." He replied, staring straight at the road. Those fingers won't stop tapping.

Those fingers.

The sound it's making.

It just keeps getting louder and louder.

And nothing but louder.

And it is really bothering me.

"Can you please stop tapping so loudly?" I asked, covering my ears. Why is he so loud?

His eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not tapping loudly. I'm barely even hitting the steering wheel.."

He stopped tapping, but the sound isn't stopping. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the head rest on the seat.

Germany looked at me through the mirror. "Are you okay?"

His voice boomed into my ears. "Stop talking so loud."

Germany opened his mouth, and then stopped. He debated on whether he should talk or not. He gave me a worried look, and then hurriedly avert his eyes to the road.

No one spoke for the longest time.

* * *

><p>I might have fallen asleep on the way there. I don't really remember. Germany shook my shoulder gently, whispering "We're here. Wake up..."<p>

As I got out of the Volkswagen, I noticed that we were at Japan's place.

"Why are we here..?" I asked, befuddled.

"Japan had said to come here if we need anything medical wise." Germany explained. "He said they have better technology than the Americans, and that they are able to point out things better than they can."

I shrugged. Oh well. Technology is technology.

Germany knocked on Japan's door gently. The small, petite man opened the door.

"Konnichiwa," he mumbled, bowing. "Please, make yourself at home."

We took our shoes off as we entered the Japanese style home. It had a nice, comforting feel to it.

We all took a seat around the table. Japan stared at us for a couple of seconds, and then got straight to the point.

He explained that he would have to do a brain scan.

"Doing this is a little bit risky," he explained. "because radiation is big factor. It shouldn't cause much of a problem, because it's only a little bit." He paused. "But for Italy, it may take a couple of tests to figure out if there is anything wrong. Radiation would build up over time, and as you know, radiation is one of the causes of cancer."

We nodded. We understood. We realize what all of this can do. But we just want to figure out if there is something wrong or not.

"Normally I would make my patients pay," he paused, closing his eyes. "but I'll let you have a freebie." He blushed, huffing. "Since we're all friends, you know..."

Germany and I couldn't help but smile.

Japan has never admitted it before.

It makes me feel warm on the inside.

* * *

><p>And the tests began.<p>

It wasn't really...horrible per say. It was just annoying. You had to be careful not to move during the tests, otherwise it would screw up the results or something like that.

But now the testing was over, we had to play the waiting game.

"Since there was several tests," Japan started. "this may take a long while. You both may stay here if you wish, but please don't make a mess of my house."

And we sat here.

For hours.

And hours.

And nothing more but several hours.

Those dreadful hours...

When finally Japan slammed open his door.

I jumped out of my dozing to see the small man's pained face. Germany jumped up and walked to Japan.

"What's wrong?"

Japan brushed the brute aside and sat down across from me. He stared me into the eyes, and then pulled me into a hug.

Again, Japan was not known for things this intimate. It left me in shock.

Japan sat quietly, looking at me, then back to Germany, and then to me again. Back and forth, back and forth...

"Italy," Japan sighed with his accent, "the results are back." He held up the papers. He let me look at them, and Germany peered behind me.

"We don't know what this means..." Germany sighed, glaring at the Asian man.

Japan nodded. "Well, that paper is what your brain looks like, Italy." He handed us another sheet of paper. "This is what a normal brain should look like."

As we compared both of the images, you could tell there was definitely something wrong with me.

"What you are looking at," Japan pointed to my brain image.

"is what appears to be a malignant brain tumor...otherwise known as Astrocytoma."

I gasped. "A brain tumor...?"

Japan nodded gravely. "A _malignant_ brain tumor. Malignant brain tumors are cancerous. In your case, you have cancer. Astrocytoma is a tumor that is star shaped on the cerebrum of the brain. It's been let go for so long that is had grown malignant, which would be causing your violent dreams. It should have also increased your hearing to make it sound like everyone is yelling at you."

I nodded. So that's why everything was so damn loud.

Germany placed his hand gently on my back. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking towards the ground. I saw a silent tear fall from his face. I looked back at Japan.

"How do I get rid of it?"

"Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy is our best bets." Japan nodded. "It should rid of the tumor, but chemotherapy is like inserting poison into your body. It will make you live longer than you normally would with a tumor, but not much longer. And of course, you know what radiation is."

We all sat silently. Awkwardness filled the air.

Germany broke the silence after a while.

"Give him the treatment. Right now."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>*breathes deeply*

That was a difficult chapter to write. :[

I got the information from **Brain Tumor Glossary of Terms **and **Astrocytoma Brain Tumors.**

Sorry for the late update as well. I had a little bit of a writer's block for this chapter. :| And I normally will never write on weekends, beings as I am busy.

I will try and update tomorrow, but that may depend. :| I dunno how I want this to go yet.


	5. Chemotherapy

**Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Hetalia. Never did, and I never will. Regardless of how much I want to... :[**

* * *

><p>"...<em>Right now?<em>" Japan asked incredulously.

"Right now." Germany repeated. He stared into Japan's soft, chocolate eyes.

I looked at the both of them, not wanting to break their concentration. They both stared at each other. Japan, deciding what he should do. Germany, insistent on my treatment. Personally, I'd rather just let the brain tumor do its own thing and let myself die. I'd rather die without all the pain of treatments. All of that emotion and stress...

"...Hai, I suppose we could do it immediately." Japan said uneasily, looking at me. "I mean, if it's okay with you. We need the patient's permission before we do anything..."

I heaved a sigh and looked at Germany's pleading eyes.

"Please," he murmured.

Decisions. I really hate them. I opened my mouth, but closed it immediately afterward. I really didn't know what I wanted to do. Germany would be happy if I said yes, but I would be even more happier if I said 'no' so I could die sooner. What would happen if I died? How would Germany be on his own? And Japan and the others...?

Regardless, I said yes anyway to make Him happy.

"I suppose,"

Germany's eyes lit happily as he pulled me into a tight hug.

Japan nodded and stood up. "If both of you would follow me, we can get Italy-san situated into a room and we can start treatment. However, I would like to talk to you both about the possible side effects of chemotherapy." Japan started to walk towards a slide-door, and pulled it to the side gently. We walked through the door to a different room. As we walked through several rooms, Japan explained potential side effects.

"There can be several side effects to chemotherapy, however you may not experience all of them. Common side effects are hair loss, vomiting and nausea, changes in appetite, fatigue, and changes in urination. There are several other side effects among those as well, such as anemia, fertility and sexual changes, swelling, and even infection." Japan paused. "All of these can pose a dangerous threat, and we, the doctors, will try our best to make sure that we don't let these things get out of hand."

I shivered as we entered the room I would be staying in.'

"All of us will make sure to check on you daily. Mainly just to see how you are doing, but there will be instances where we might have to give you another dose of chemo."

I shook my head as my eyes widened with fear. "There's a chance that I might have to get another dose of chemo?"

Japan shifted as we stopped outside a door. "Well...if it doesn't rid of the tumor. It all depends on the first dose." He frowned and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Do not worry. The first dose should do the trick." We entered the room, which happened to appear as a normal hospital room.

Then, he turned and gestured to a hospital bed surrounded by several kinds of medical equipment. "This is where you'll be most of the time, except when you will have to go to the bathroom." Japan picked up a hospital gown and handed it to me. "Change into this and we will start the chemotherapy."

I nodded and headed to a bathroom across from the bed. I looked at myself in the mirror as I closed the door. My eyes looked sunken..dead. I look like I've been through Hell and back. But I know once chemotherapy starts, I'll look like I've been through Hell several times and back. I frowned as I pulled my uniform off, noticing that my chest looked a little...bonier. Am I losing weight? I haven't been eating much lately... I suppose that could have to do with the tumor. Or stress. Or even both. I don't even know anymore. I just want this over with...

I put the gown on and tied the back. As I picked up my uniform, I jumped at the sudden breeze of cold air that had rushed to my exposed bottom. I blushed a light red as I tried to hide it, but it looked weird holding the gown like that so I just let it be.

I opened the door and tossed my clothes onto a lonely chair against the white wall. I sighed as I slowly walked to the hospital bed; Germany sitting next to it, anxious. I gave a little smile as I climbed into the bed, covering my cold legs up with the thin blanket. The German looked at the petite Japanese man setting up machines.

Japan looked over in our direction and nodded. "Are we ready to start the treatment?"

I nodded. "I...think so."

Japan gave another nod. "Alright,"

* * *

><p><em>Italy's Diary: Day 1 of Chemotherapy Treatment<em>

_ God dammit._

_ I don't like this._

_ It's messing with me._

_ All I do is heave and heave into the toilet._

_ Germany is trying to help as much as he can..._

_ but he can't stop the pain._

_ The misery._

_ Why did I decide to do this?_

_ I just...I just want to die._

_ Please, if there is a God up there..._

_ just end it all for me._

_ All of this pain and suffering._

_ I don't care if Germany would be sad. Dying sounds good right now._

_ Really good._

* * *

><p>"What are you writing in there?"<p>

I jumped as I held the book close to my body. "N-nothing!" I smiled and placed the book down by the toilet. I felt my stomach heave, and I held my head over the toilet. Germany grimaced and held my hair out of the way.

"You can tell me what you were writing..." Germany commented after I was done. I shook my head.

"It's nothing," I sighed and got up from the ground. "I think I'm done...We should go back into the room."

Germany frowned and lingered at that spot for a while, looking at the small, blue book in my clutches. I sighed and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Come on," I smiled. "let's go."

Germany sighed, and then smirked. "All right." As we were heading out the door, the German grabbed my hand gently. I stopped and turned to look at him. His eyes were holding back tears as he held my hand.

"Please... if there is anything bothering you, just tell me. I promise I won't be mad...or..."

I shook my head. "I reassure you, nothing is wrong." I squeezed his hand tight. "I promise."

Of course, I had to lie. How else would I get that off of his mind? Granted I felt bad for doing it, I just can't stand to see him hurt.

We walked into the room, and as I climbed onto the bed, I hid the book underneath my blanket.

I can't let Germany read the diary. I have a feeling that if he read it, he would be really sad.

And I also hate seeing that big, bulky man all gloomy.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Another chapter finished and published~! It seems like people are liking my story, so I plan on continuing this story until the finish.<br>Sorry for the really late update, though. Actually I had no time this last weekend to publish anything because on the 3rd of this month I had a competition for Band that took pretty much the whole damn day. So Friday I went to bed early, Saturday I was at the competition, and then the day afterwards I did nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. Doesn't help that I wore a form of high heels. My feet still hurt from it. :| And that was my lesson: "Never wear high heels if you aren't experienced with them. Otherwise, you just screwed yourself."  
>I also had writer's block yet again for this chapter. *facepalm*<strong>

**I also noticed that my chapters aren't long at all! orz I try and make them longer each time, but I just can't do it! /shot**


	6. Romano

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!**

* * *

><p>"Fratello!"<p>

Romano burst through the door of my room. I jumped as I turned my head, only to see the overly-worried expression on my brother's face. He panted as he looked at Germany and I. From behind Romano, Spain walked in as well, heading straight for Romano to pat his back.

"You didn't need to run," Spain sighed. My brother swatted the Spaniard's hand away and glared at him.

He turned his attention back to me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I froze. "Huh?"

His hands clenched into fists. "You heard me. Why didn't you let me know immediately?" His eyes started to water. A silent tear fell down his cheek as he continued to say, "I've been looking for you..for a couple of days..and you weren't home! I finally had to call Japan to find out where you were, but then I find out you're at his place getting treated for a damn brain tumor!" He turns his attention to Germany. "And you, you potato bastard! You should have called me! You know how much I care for Fratello!"

Germany's face grew dark. He didn't say anything. I looked back and forth from Romano and Spain, to Germany, and then back again. Spain shrugged when I looked towards his direction. I frowned.

"You don't have anything to say?" Romano sobbed. "You...you fucking idiot! I...I was so worried..." He started to sob louder. "You didn't let me know...and...you've got a brain tumor! A _fucking brain tumor_! Those things are serious! I wished you would have let me know right away.."

Spain held the shaking Romano in his arms as he frowned. I didn't know what to say.

"I.." I started. Romano stopped sobbing for a moment to look at me. His eyes were red and tear-stricken, and I could tell that he had snot running from his nose.

"I'm really sorry, Fratello..." I started, holding back tears myself. "I really didn't mean anything by it..."

Romano let go of Spain and looked over at me. I started to feel sick to my stomach. The damn chemo.

"I didn't mean anything, seriously. I was just so caught up in this that I just... didn't let you know. I really intended to let you know as soon as I could." I sighed. I felt warm drops of water fall from my eyes. Romano gasped and he walked over to me.

"I didn't mean to make you cry..." Romano sobbed as he held me in his arms.

We cried for what felt like a good hour. We cried our feelings out, holding each other arm in arm. Germany and Spain in front of us, holding back tears themselves. We finally let go, and Romano wiped the stray tears off of his face.

"You're going through chemo now, right?" He sighed. He held back a sob. I gave a little nod.

"Y-yeah..." I glanced to the diary I had under the blanket. I still had that same feeling in my stomach. "It's real Hell."

Romano smiled. "I'm sure it is." He sat down in a chair by the bed and held my hand. "You'll get through it."

I smiled at him. Even though he's so much against Germany and isn't usually in a good mood around him, I still love him regardless. He makes me smile, and he cares for me so much...

_I still feel like I want to leave this chaotic world._

Spain sat down next to Romano and patted my hand. "You''ll be better in no time, guaranteed." He said in his thick Spanish accent. "We all have faith in you."

I held back a sob that managed to come back. This is so difficult. I'm having these feelings of hopelessness and yet here they all think I'll live. It's horrible, now that I think about it. I would be leaving behind a lot of people who care for me. People who would give their lives for me. Suddenly, I feel like I'm a worthless person.

But that feeling was wiped away from my thoughts immediately, as I felt like I was about to throw up.

I jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom, glad that I made it to the toilet in time. I heard Romano yell my name and he ran into the bathroom with me.

* * *

><p><em>Italy's Diary: Day 3 of Chemotherapy Treatment<em>

_ I wish I would just die. This is just too much for me._

_ Yesterday I had scratched my head because it itched, but I pulled my hand back and noticed hair had come out. Germany didn't look too amused._

_ Romano and Spain visit us everyday for such a long time. I appreciate them for that, but they have such a busy schedule that it makes me wonder exactly how they are able to manage it. However, I am still glad they visit, and it makes me feel a bit better each day._

_ America and the others visited as well. They payed their regards and then left. But they visit every once a week._

_ I hate feeling like a lost puppy. Everyone feels that I can't do things on my own. It makes me feel like I'm useless...Granted that I wasn't really useful in the first place, but still, I at least got to do things on my own._

* * *

><p>I stopped writing there. I feel like I can't write anymore. I've been so tired, and I sleep longer than I'm up. Germany started to dose off in the bed next to mine. (Japan felt that Germany shouldn't be stuck in a chair all day, so he brought in another bed so he could be comfortable.) I've noticed that when I write in my diary, he nonchalantly peeks out of the corner of his eye to see if he can read it. However, I have it faced a certain angle all the time so he can't see. He can never see it. I won't let him. I hate that he tries to get into my business, though. I understand why he would be curious...<p>

I put the diary under the sheet in my bed and lay down, my facing the ceiling. I frown as a headache started to come along, but I tried to ignore it. The sound of medical machines overpowered the silence. I pulled the sheet over my head, trying to ward off the blinding lights and loud machinery. However, the sheet did nothing. As I threw the sheet off of me, I plugged my ears and covered my eyes.

I wanted to scream. But I didn't want to because I would wake everyone up. The sound started to grow intense, and the lights were horrifically blinding. I turned around to lay on my stomach, but remembered that I had the IV in. I sighed and silently sobbed.

I heard an alarm go off. I don't know if it was my imagination or not. The sound of someone shuffling around in their sleep was on the side of me. I heard a choke, and then a muffled "Italy!" As I started to struggle in the bed, I think Japan ran into the room with a horde of doctors.

Japan sighed and stood there, watching. Germany growled.

"Aren't you going to do anything? He's in pain!"

Japan shook his head. "It's a seizure. There is nothing we can do, other than to time the seizure and see if he exhibits any symptoms."

The doctors were around me were trying to make sure I wouldn't swallow my tongue. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as I struggled to keep myself under control, but I couldn't. Once I felt myself calming down, I rested peacefully into the bed.

I heard a sigh, and then the sound of a pen scribbling against something. A chair scraped against the side of my bed, and a warm hand held my own cold one.

I felt myself start to cry, and then the hushed sounds of Germany's voice started to calm me down.

"You'll be fine...I promise you. Just calm down and sleep. You need it..."

I felt myself start to drift away in a horrible fit of sleep full of terrible nightmares.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: T'is another chapter! Oh my, oh my!<strong>

**I had fun writing this chapter. (Not because I'm just some sadistic freak that likes to torture characters in her stories, but because it was interesting to write in general!) I felt like I wouldn't be able to write this.**

**However, I have a few announcements I would like to mention. Whether you will read this or not, I dunno, but I prefer that you do so.**

**I will be starting another story here soon. It's a Bleach story, actually. You can read the summary on my profile because I'm just too lazy to go back and copy and paste! o u o**

**Also, I will not be posting anything this weekend. I'm going to a mini concert with my friend and afterwards I plan on working on the notes for my 7 page essay. :[ The note cards are due this upcoming Monday and I'd rather get those done. Also I have a book report due the day after so I should probably work on that too...**

**What else is there to say...**

**I should probably mention that this story will have character death. I will be sure to mention in the summary, but I would like to mention now before you guys get hit with the impact unprepared. I plan to have at least 10 chapters, if not more. I feel this is coming to an end anyway, so I'll just let you know before the last chapter. ;A;**

**Anyhow, you all have a nice day~!**


	7. Almost There

**Disclaimer: Don't own! I should probably look up the guy who created Hetalia...**

* * *

><p>"Seizures are often associated with brain tumors. Don't be surprised that you get them at least once a week, if not once a month. They could potentially grow even more violent, or grow less violent. They should stop once the tumor is gone from your brain, but if the tumor doesn't get eradicated, then I'm afraid you'll have to live with random seizures until the tumor finishes you off itself."<p>

Japan solemnly said the next morning after my first seizure. I don't really remember what happened, but Germany explained it all. It was weird trying to remember what happened, but I don't think I ever will. Germany seemed to have a problem with this, but Japan dismissed it as a natural symptom.

"How come you never let us know that he would end up having a seizure?" Germany asked after a long bout of silence.

"I didn't want to worry you," Japan stated. He looked Germany flat in the face. "sometimes stress can induce seizures. I tried to keep less stress off of Italy's mind, that way just perhaps it would ward of the seizure for even a little while." He paused, glancing at me, then back to Germany. "It came sooner than I anticipated. Let's just hope that the chemo will kill off the tumor and that you and Italy can live a normal life again."

That struck something in my head. _"Let's just hope that the chemo will kill off the tumor and that you and Italy can live a normal life again?"_ What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does he mean that I possibly will never get a chance at a "normal" life again? Is he hinting that I am well on my way to death?

Japan started to walk to the exit. "I'm sure you both are hungry. Germany, the usual wurst?" Germany nodded. "And Italy, the usual pasta?" I nodded as well. Japan gave a faint smile and left the room to cook.

"He should have at least let me know," Germany started once Japan was well out of ear-shot. I looked towards him. Germany was frowning. "I wanted to be prepared for something like this. It looked like you were dying...Out of this world. Japan seemed calm about it, but I wasn't. I was worried half to death. No pun intended, but he can't keep information like that hidden from me."

I frowned and looked at the TV. The news was on. "_The country of Italy is going into shambles, day by day. Scientists are trying to figure out the cause as of why this is happening..."_

"I think he meant nothing by it."

Germany had a confused look. "What do you mean?"

I sighed. "He was trying to do what he thought best. He hates causing people problems and stress and whatnot. That's why he hid it from us, or just you in general, because he didn't want to make you more worried than you were already. It's a generous notion." I felt like I was speaking words of wisdom. Perhaps words that an elderly man would speak someday to his grandchildren. Would I ever get a chance of feeling the joy of having grand kids? Granted that I can't have children, obviously, but being able to adopt one and then seeing it grow up to have it's own children? Would I have a chance of being able to live with Germany forever? And to see how Romano and Spain do together...?

Germany seemed taken aback. He opened his mouth, then closed it, and turned his head towards the TV.

"It's a horrible world, out here." I commented. "Corrupted people and minds, God's own children getting killed and inflicted with cancer and diseases. Did he ever intend it?"

I paused, getting a saddened look from Germany. I smiled. "Sorry, don't mind me. I'm just thinking aloud."

Germany nodded and walked over to his bed. "I'm just going to lay down for a while. Let me know if you need anything." He rested his head down. He turned to look at me. "And I mean anything, regardless if I'm sleeping." He turned around and sighed. "I love you..."

I blushed. That was the first time ever that he committed his love to me. I smiled faintly and replied with a "I love you, too."

"What about your food?" I asked right afterward. Germany waved his hand.

"Tell Japan to set it on the side table. I'll eat it eventually."

And that was the end of that.

* * *

><p><em>Italy's Diary: Day 8 of Chemotherapy Treatment<em>

_ Supposedly, the treatment is going along well. According to Japan, anyways. However, I don't think so. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse each passing day._

_ Japan says that tomorrow is the last day for chemo. And then I should be off of it for a while. He said I should be able to go home a day or two afterward. Germany is especially happy with this._

_ I still feel like dying. I can't help but have that feeling. No one here would understand until they have a brain tumor themselves. It's just a real living Hell._

_ Romano and Spain still visit. They were happy to hear that I am able to head home very soon. They decided to take us out for dinner the day I get home, to celebrate the progress of treatment._

_ I'm still going to have seizures regardless if I'm having chemo or not. It's just a symptom of the tumor, like Japan said. That part I'm not especially happy about, but at least I can get out of this depressing place for a while._

* * *

><p>I stop writing. I feel as if I can't write anymore. I feel very fatigued again. Germany looked up from his book and frowned. "What's wrong?"<p>

"Oh," I closed the book, smiling. "Just tired."

I put my hand on my head to scratch, but feel the smooth skin. I frowned. That's right. All the hair had fallen out yesterday. I feel so naked now. Germany wasn't amused; he had liked the way my hair felt and looked.

Germany nodded slowly and sighed. "Go to bed. Just sleep it all off. Think, tomorrow is the last day. And the day afterward, we can all go out and have a great time."

I nodded and smiled. "All right. That sounds like a great idea."

And I lay my head down; staring at the white, barren ceiling.

"Hey, Germany?" I asked before going to sleep. He looked over at me with a befuddled face.

"Yeah?"

"What's tomorrow?"

"Friday, the 13th. Why?"

My stomach sunk.

"..Nothing, just wondering."

Germany held his breath. "Nothing will happen. It's just an old superstition. Tomorrow will go great, I can feel it."

I gave a little nod. "Good night, Germany."

"Good night."

And I turned around in my bed.

It took me a while to get to sleep.

If only I had a way to see into the future.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: It's almost to an end! A couple more chapters or so...<strong>

**Please review! It really helps~ I would like to know what you all think~**


	8. Sudden Symptoms

**Disclaimer: Do not own~!**

* * *

><p>Today is the last day of chemo. That means that tomorrow morning, after I get a quick check-up, I should be ready to leave this place. I feel very much relieved now that I am able to at least live a part of my life normally without being cooped up in this depressing place. Perhaps I can finally recuperate, and hopefully the cites will recuperate as well. I can only imagine the pain of the inhabitants, and I want to be able to heal very soon as possible to keep them safe and in peace.<p>

Germany seemed happier than usual today, as well. Romano and Spain came in to visit, along with the other countries. Everyone was happy and enjoying life.

"Enjoying life."

I flinched at that phrase. I had realized that lately it's very difficult to enjoy life. Yet, everyone else can do it so easily. As if it occurs to them naturally.

I beg to differ.

I wish to be my old, cheerful self again. Hopefully, this month while I'm at home, I can enjoy life to its fullest. Hopefully I can keep my mind off of everything.

"I'm glad to see you're getting better, Italy." England remarked. I gave a little nod, smiling.

"Thank you. I'm surprised that I'm able to go home this early."

England nodded. "I'm sure it was. It surprised all of us. It's a good thing, regardless, so just be glad that you were given this chance."

I took those words to heart. I guess I should be glad that treatment is going well and that I get another chance. I should be glad with what God has given..if there's even a God up there. Sometimes I wonder about that, too. If there was a God, he wouldn't of done this. But I guess I shouldn't question his logic.

Just appreciate.

* * *

><p><em>Italy's Diary: Final Day of Chemotherapy <em>

_ I realized something today._

_ I don't want to die. I want to live._

_ I want to be able to enjoy life with Germany and everyone else. I realize how much life is precious to someone. Life is a gift from God. And granted that sometimes life doesn't go your way, you have to appreciate what he gave you. I was given a chance to live a life, but I was selfish and childish for wishing that I was just dead._

_ Whether there's a God up there or not, I still think this._

_ I am one among many of God's children, and we should all get along and have a great time. Life is beautiful. Life is so full of many possibilities._

_ And that is why I am thankful to God that I was able to get another chance at a "normal" life._

_ I don't want to die..._

* * *

><p>I shiver. This cool breeze came out of nowhere. I pull the sheet up closer to my body, but a few minutes later I feel hot.<p>

"Germany?"

His head pops up from behind a book. "Yeah?"

"Come here and feel my head, please?"

Germany's eyebrows furrowed as he got up from his seat. "Are you OK?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure."

He takes off his black glove and places the back of his hand against my head. He jumps. "It's burning hot..." He flips his hand over and frowns. "I'm calling Japan in here. This isn't right."

* * *

><p>Japan walks into the room with a worried look on his face. He places a thermometer in my ear, checking the temperature. "Hopefully it isn't a high temperature. If it isn't, it should be easy to rid of."<p>

After a couple of minutes, the tool beeps. He takes it out, reading the number with a grimace. "102 degrees Fahrenheit. This is serious."

Germany scoot closer to me. I gave a little smile. "I'll be fine."

Japan frowned as he brought in an IV bag and inserted it into me. I grimaced with pain as the needle stabbed into my arm, but shrugged it off after a while.

"This will keep you hydrated. If you were to get dehydrated, you would be in really serious trouble." Japan sighed. He turned and looked at Germany. "I want you to call for me if something else doesn't appear right. Something like a weird side effect- anything."

Germany nodded. "All right."

"I should probably note this, while I'm at it." Japan started. "Fever is a symptom of infection. I'm not saying that Italy has an infection or not, but I just want to make sure that you, along with myself, keep a very close eye on his condition. Who knows what could happen if we aren't paying attention?"

Germany's face sunk as he heard this. "Infection...?"

Japan held his hands up in defense. "Don't worry, infection doesn't usually occur as a normal side effect of chemo. However, we will try the best we can to ward it off, if it so happens is the case. It should be a breeze, as we have all of the medical advances to help."

Japan turned around and started to walk to the door. "So please, keep a real close eye. I'll be visiting every hour or so to make sure that he's okay and to document any other symptoms if needed."

As Japan walked out of the room, Germany sighed. "Figures. The day before you leave and something has to happen. That's just our luck, isn't it?"

I giggled. "I'll be fine. Treatment was going really well- it's not like anything could screw up now."

Germany smiled. "I suppose you're right."

I winced as the feeling of an oncoming headache burdened me. I felt a sudden chill overcome my body and pulled the sheets closer to my body.

If only I knew how wrong we were.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Sigh.<strong>

**So. Much. Writer's. Block.**

**And the chapters get shorter as they gooooo**

**It's coming to a close end, here. So be prepared~!**

**I haven't been feeling well lately, so don't expect much updates. I think I'm coming down with a virus that's going around the school. :|**


	9. The After Life

**Disclaimer: Don't own!**

**WARNING: Character Death! If you don't like, leave now! I have to say, I almost shed a few tears myself writing this chapter.**

* * *

><p>"How are you feeling?"<p>

I shook my head. "I don't feel like I'm getting better, honestly."

Japan nodded, writing on a clipboard. "Any new symptoms?"

I shuffled on the bed, frowning. "Ah..."

Japan pulled up a chair by the bed and sat down. "Don't be embarrassed; this is really important for us to know." Japan smiled. "So, what is it that you are experiencing?"

I nodded. "When I go to the bathroom, it's like it's really difficult to..ah, urinate."

Japan's eyebrows furrowed as he wrote the symptom down. "Well.." He started, and shook his head. "Anything else?"

I nodded again. "Also, it feels like I'm congested. Sometimes it's difficult to breathe, sometimes it just feels like there's a traffic jam around the sinus area."

Japan took note of that too, and sat down the clipboard on a table by my bed. "As you both have noticed," he said, looking at Germany and I. "Italy can't go home. He's in a state that has to be monitored here." He paused. "He's at a 50/50 chance risk of having infection from the chemo. He has all of the symptoms, but we can't be entirely sure about it. We'll have to take a white blood cell count test and make sure he doesn't have a low white blood cell count. However, if he does, that means he'll have a chance of having a more severe infection. That's where he could be heading right now, so we'll have to keep a very, very close eye on him."

Germany frowned, sighing. "What are you going to do if he does have infection?"

"We can only fight the symptoms. So, for the fever, we just have to make sure he takes fever reducers and keep that temperature down. As for the other symptoms, that's going to be a little more difficult to fight and control. That's the difficult part of the infection that always messes with doctors."

Germany groaned and leaned back in his chair. "Take that test. I want to know for sure if he has infection or not."

Japan nodded and took me with him, carrying the IV as we go.

* * *

><p>As we waiting for the results, Germany and I watched TV.<p>

_"The once beautiful country, known as Italy, has gone from bad to worse. The people of Italy have been dying one by one, each day, of an unknown sickness. Scientists have been looking into the matter-"_

"-This is bad." Germany closed his eyes with exhaustion. "At this rate, Italy won't have anymore inhabitants."

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. "What..are we going to do?"

He opened one eye and glanced at me. "There's nothing we can do about it, Italy. You're in bad shape, and it's getting worse by the minute. The most we can do is pray and hope that you'll get out of this fine. And, once you are healed, the country and its people will heal."

I looked back at the TV, the newscast on a whole different matter now. Something about stress induced problems in Germany.

"You aren't doing so good yourself, Germany."

Germany nodded and turned to the TV. "No, I haven't."

We sat in silence, watching the depressing newscast while we wait for results from Japan.

I felt my eyes grow heavy, and I closed my eyes for what seemed like a minute, but lasted for hours.

* * *

><p>"Italy?"<p>

"..."

"...Wake up, Italy."

I moaned and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I looked into the face of Romano, who was silently crying. "I guess you didn't get come home today, huh?"

I looked at him groggily. "What are you doing here?"

Romano sighed and patted my back. "Visiting you, _stupido_, why else would I be here?"

I yawned and shrugged. "I don't know..." I looked around and saw that Germany had fallen asleep in the chair. "Did Japan happen to get the results?"

Romano shuffled, and the sat down. "Y-yeah..." He paused. "You have a low white blood cell count. Japan said that means you do have infection, and a very severe one at that."

I gasped, and lowered my head. There was a hammer pounding in my head. There was a train wreck in my sinuses. I suddenly felt the urge to puke, but I held that notion in.

"Japan insists that he's going to make sure you live. Whether he can do it or not, we won't know until the time comes. But, I have faith in him, Fratello."

_Faith._

"You'll be fine in no time, Fratello. And, before you know it, we can go home happy."

_Happy._

"Fratello? Are you OK?"

I felt as if I were in a daze. My vision started to blur. I looked up, and suddenly saw two Romanos, and then one, and then three more. I started to sweat excessively.

"Call Japan, Fratello."

"Huh?"

"I..don't think something's right."

Romano ran out of the room, yelling for Japan. By this time, Germany had woken up and rushed to my side, trying to hold me up. "Don't pass out, don't pass out, just try to stay awake. Japan needs your help with this, too."

I tried to follow his voice. It felt like I was in a maze and I was trying to find Germany.

"It hurts!" I called out. Germany held me tighter.

"Just hold on...everything will be fine..."

"Germany!"

I heard a grunt, and then the sound of a door slamming.

"Italy!" It sounded like Japan. He sat beside me on the bed, trying to get a hold of my attention. "You need to let me know what's wrong,"

"It hurts! I don't want to die! Please..."

"Fratello!" Romano called out, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Japan, you have to help him..."

"There's nothing we can do."

"What?" Germany glared at Japan.

"We can't do anything. All of our approaches have been failing. This means that he's in such a severe case of the infection that it's practically impossible to beat."

"How can you just say that?" Romano yelled at the petite Japanese. Japan flinched. "You claim that he'll be fine and that there was not a chance of him dying! But, now you claim that there's absolutely nothing to do, and you say it calmly while he's dying...! You're a doctor, dammit!"

"Listen," Japan started, looking irritated. "I may be a doctor, but there are just some things that you can't do. I may look like a miracle worker, but I have my bad days. I can be a 'Hero' but sometimes that is never the case. No matter how you look at it, I am trying my hardest to ensure his life. I don't choose whether I want him to live or not. I _strive _to make sure all of my patients are well alive and healthy."

I shuddered, a high pitch sound alarming in my head. "Oh, God!"

Romano flinched. Germany gasped, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to break the dam.

"You've been lying to us, then?" Germany mumbled.

"..Not exactly."

"Is that so?"

Japan jumped out of his chair and glared at Germany. "Cut me some slack. In case you didn't hear me the first time, I strive to make sure all my patients are alive and healthy. Sometimes things unexpected happen, and then all Hell breaks lose. Well, that happens to be the case here. I've never had a case as bad as this, so it was normal that I appear happy-go-lucky so you all don't stress over the matter. I was the one bearing the stress. You ever stop and imagine how I might feel, watching a patient slowly die before my eyes? All of the stress is like a thousand pounds weighing on my shoulders, and here you accuse me of all these things? I'm just doing my job, and apparently I'm not doing it the way anyone around here wants me to."

Silence filled the room. I shuddered more, trying to ward off the pain that's filling me.

"I don't want to die..." I mumbled once more before collapsing on the pillow.

"Italy!" Germany cried, grasping my limp hand.

Romano let out a strangled cry, his head resting on my cold skin.

Japan let out a frustrated sigh and held back the tears.

"You can't die on me yet, Fratello!" Romano shook my lifeless body. "Come on! ..You're just messing, right? You're...perfectly fine! Look up at me with that goofy face of yours!" Romano paused, his breathing hitched. "Oh, I know! I have pasta with me! Come on, you can't resist a good bowl of pasta, can you..?" And then the realization dawned on him.

Germany looked at Romano, and then Japan, and then back at me. "We'll see you in no time, Italy.

"Just wait for us in the After Life."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Oh dear, what have I done? ;A;<strong>

**I am quite happy with the outcome of this chapter. After this, there's just one more chapter to go, and then the end. *tear***

**Let me know what you think! I am always curious to know what you all think about this story~  
>Also, I really don't know if there is anyways to cure infection from chemo. I had done research, but I could not find anything about curing infection other than taking normal precautionary actions about it like we normally would. I apologize if there is fault with this chapter, and I don't blame you if you so happen to.<strong>

**Ciao~  
><strong>


	10. Afterward

__**Disclaimer: I still don't own! *sob***

* * *

><p><em>"We are here today to proceed the death of Italy..."<em>

"Are you okay, Romano?"

I looked over to see Spain patting Romano's shivering back. Spain had been crying himself. Romano gasped and let out a sharp sob, indicating that he wasn't okay. Spain's face grew dark as he kept patting the torn nation's back. Beside them, Austria had been glaring at the open casket for a while. His glasses showed a glare as he stared at the lifeless body of Italy. He mumbled something under his breath and took his glasses off, wiping his eyes free of tears.

As for myself, I am still in shock. It had happened all so suddenly. He was happy and alive one moment and then the next he's cold and lifeless. Right in front of us in that room, he had died. Japan couldn't live it down, and ever since he had been quiet, distant. Whether Japan will ever continue in his profession, I will never know.

The Allies attended as well. After they heard the news about Italy dying, and then the whole news broadcast on the mysterious mass destruction on Italy, they had no choice _but _to attend.

As the priest continued on with his speech, I had remembered the diary Italy used to write in all the time. My face scrunched up as I thought about it- whether to read it or not? It was such a difficult choice. Italy had kept that away from me the whole time he was in treatment, so it's obvious he doesn't want me to read out of it. I probably shouldn't, but I can't help but wonder what it was he wrote in there that he wanted to keep a secret.

My train of thought was broken when they suddenly started to set the casket into the ground. Romano jumped towards the casket and glared at the men who were setting it down. "..You can't!" He sobbed. He shook his head. "He's still alive! He's alright..!" He looked at the casket, and then towards Spain. "Right, Spain? This is all just a sick joke that Fratello wanted to play on us!"

Spain let out a silent sob and shook his head. "No, Romano. You need to get back. Let the men do what they have to do..."

"Spain, you bastard!" Romano screamed as Spain picked him up and took him away from the casket. He battered his fists against the Spanish man. "Let me go, dammit! They're burying Fratello when he's okay! You can't...!" He gave up finally after he realized that he can't bring his dead brother back to life.

As the men continued to set the casket into the grave, the flood of tears demanded to come. I held them back as much as I could until I got home. I took a deep breath and started to blink fast, hopefully blocking out as much of the tears as I could without them falling.

But, regardless of my attempts, they just fell and fell onto the beautiful, spring grass.

* * *

><p>"Is this his diary?"<p>

I asked to no one in particular. We were cleaning out the room that Italy had stayed in for treatment, and I happened to find a book tucked under the sheets. I looked at it, and turned it around a couple of times. Romano was staring at the book, frowning.

"It could be," Romano sighed. "he always had a thing for writing in diaries when he was in grave situations."

Austria nodded. "When he was younger, he always did." Austria took the book out of his hands and flipped through the pages. "This is definitely his poor handwriting."

I took the book back and held it close to me. Austria frowned and backed away, sitting down in his chair. "Go ahead and read through it."

I hesitated. "I don't know if I should...It seemed like he hadn't wanted me to read it in the first place."

Romano shrugged. "It's Fratello, he was weird like that. I say just read through it. There may be things we don't know."

I rolled my eyes. But he had a point. What if there were things that we didn't know? I sighed and turned to the first page, and read aloud to everyone else.

"Italy's Diary: Day 1 of Chemotherapy Treatment

God dammit.

I don't like this.

It's messing with me.

All I do is heave and heave into the toilet.

Germany is trying to help as much as he can...

but he can't stop the pain.

The misery.

Why did I decide to do this?

I just...I just want to die.

Please, if there is a God up there...

just end it all for me.

All of this pain and suffering.

I don't care if Germany would be sad. Dying sounds good right now.

Really good."

No one spoke. It was as if everyone had lost the ability to speak.

"This is what Fratello thought?" Romano whispered quietly. I grunted and flipped to the next page, and then the next. Finally, after reading the last page, I let out a silent whimper.

"He didn't want to die."

"Huh?" Spain looked up. I threw the diary towards Spain and Romano, and walked out of the room. Japan was sitting at his desk.

"Almost done in there?" He asked with a sunken look on his face. I shrugged.

"I don't know. We stopped after we found his diary."

"His diary?" Japan looked up with inquiry. I nodded.

"He had been writing in a diary throughout the whole week he was being treated."

"Was there anything written about his conditions and symptoms?"

I shook my head. "Absolutely nothing. All he wrote about was his feelings."

Japan nodded and shut his eyes slowly. "I really tried my hardest."

I walked to his side and patted his back. "I know you did. I realized what we all said that day was childish. You're the doctor, and we're not. It's only natural that a patient dies every once in a while."

Japan sighed and nodded. "I'm glad you understand. I'm torn over this about as much as you are."

"..I know." I paused. "Do you plan on being a doctor still?"

Japan hesitated. "I've had this happen before, but now I don't feel so sure about myself. I hate having the burden all on me because of a death of the patient. I don't know whether I should continue one with what I know best or just 'retire' and just deal with my country's affairs."

I nodded. "Choices, huh?" I gave a little smirk. "Just choose what you feel comfortable with. I would still be a doctor, if I were you. Saving lives is your thing." I gave another reassuring pat on his back. "Stick with it."

I walked away from Japan, his face with the most dumbfounded look you could ever see on a wise Japanese man's face.

* * *

><p>4 Years Later...<p>

"Come on, Japan! Run faster! It's about time you step it up a bit!"

Japan huffed. "Right, Germany-san!"

I smiled and followed behind the Japanese man. "After this lap, we'll be finished."

"Hai!"

* * *

><p>As I walked home, I sighed. Training has been different without Italy, but after it being so long, it was like he wasn't ever there. I know that's a harsh thing to think, but sometimes it's best you let things go. Italy was in the past, but he will always be remembered. I haven't forgotten about him one bit since the day he died.<p>

Romano has tried his hardest to get over the fact that Italy won't be around anymore, but he has barely gotten over it. Spain has tried to get Romano to get his mind off of it, and a couple of times it had worked successfully. Romano and I had set up a memorial for Italy in Romano's house, and we visit his grave every once a week. Ever since, Romano and I have never fought. We have gotten along exceptionally well.

As for the actual country of Italy, the North part of it had disappeared. All of the inhabitants have disappeared and not too long after that, the part itself magically disappeared off of the face of the Earth. How South Italy is still standing, undamaged, is a mystery to us and the geographers.

I grew out of my train of thought and remembered that I haven't visited Italy this week yet. I smiled and headed over to Romano's house. I knocked on the door, and walked in myself. Romano had started to get his shoes on when he looked up at me. "Oh, I was just getting ready to head over to your place."

I nodded. "You ready to go visit him?"

Romano nodded. "Yeah, just give me a moment. Spain wants to come too."

When we get to the graveyard, it had just started to rain. We brought umbrellas just in case because it had looked like it was about to pour any moment.

As we walked to His grave, we mumbled a little "Hello".

We stood in the pouring rain for a while, thinking of something to say. Romano mentioned what he did this past week, and I mentioned that Japan and I have been training every single day.  
>"We haven't forgotten about you," Romano remarked. My face sunk and I nodded.<br>"No, we haven't." I tried to hold back tears. "We read your diary."

I can just imagine Italy's embarrassed face right now. I chuckled silently and nodded. "We didn't realize you felt like that."

Romano held back a sob. "We're so sorry,"

I patted his back and looked back at the grave. "I just want to say, that I will always be your best friend, Italy. Regardless if you're alive or not. Just wait for us in the Heavens." I chuckled. "I bet you're enjoying a bowl of pasta right now. But, that's alright. Just think, we'll be there sometime soon.

"And we'll still be best friends..."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: *sob* It is done!<strong>

**This is the final and definite last chapter. I do not plan on adding anything more. ;A; I'm just glad I got this done. I was procrastinating long enough, and now I feel like weight was lifted from my shoulders.  
><strong>

**The real reason why this chapter and the other story has been delayed for so long is because school is kicking my ass right now. I finally finished the research paper and I should be updating a lot more now. o u o**

**Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this story. Review and let me know what you think!**


End file.
